wouldn't it be weird
by rosemusic20
Summary: the story of when Robin dyed her hair blonde... and what it meant. from teds POV. About Barney and Robin Apparently it has spoilers. But most of them are just guesses.


Kids I have been really excited to tell you this part of the story. You have no idea how hard it was for me not to spoil it. This is the amazing story that you have been waiting for. A story which will put you on the edge of your seat. The story of when Robin dyed her hair blonde.  
So you know that when Robin was younger she was a teenage pop star. And you know that when we met her she was determined to neglect that lifestyle and put those blonde singing at the mall days behind her. Then you can most likely imagine how much of a surprise it was for Marshall, Lily and I when on an ordinary Sunday afternoon, Robin walks into the bar completely and utterly blonde.  
I was, of course, speechless.  
Marshalls eyes grew to about the size of dinner plates.  
Lily burst out laughing. "Sparkles? What are you doing here?"  
Now this comment was a bit harsh. Robins hair was blonde, but at least she didn't crimp it. Don't ask how i know that word.  
Marshall chuckled. "Wow, I am going to be honest Robin, you really do look like Barbie."  
"Okay, lay it on me." Robin smiled and sat down. "I can take it."  
So we spent the next fifteen minutes coming up with as many dumb blonde jokes as humanly possible. Robin didn't even look that devastated.  
"Alright alright," Lily finally said after we had dug up the last of the blonde jokes. "So, Robin... How did this, blondness come to be?"  
To explain that, i am going to take you back in time to the night before. Barney had just dumped this chick Patrice. It was a wonder he was even dating her in the first place, considering she was a tad overweight and she worked in Robins office. So, as the supportive friends we were, we coddled him and surrounded him with love when we found out that they had broken up.  
"Thank GOD!" Marshall said bluntly.  
So maybe we didn't _coddle_ him.  
"That bitch had to go!" Lily agreed  
Okay we may have surrounded him with something other than love. But at least we were there for him.  
"Look, we have to go." Lily said standing up. We were in the bar by the way.  
I stood up as well. "Yeah, I have to get going to. I am working on this fanfiction 'Squirlock Holmes' and it is really coming along. I have already had a review and i am only on the second chapter. I think it is going to go viral!" It didn't.  
"Wait you guys are leaving me?" Barney pouted.  
So maybe we weren't being very good friends, and we weren't exactly there for him. But to be honest kids i don't really regret that night because if i hadn't gone home to work on "Squirlock Holmes" then i never would have met your mother. You know how i met your mother at Barney and Robin's wedding, well that was the night that- Wait! I am getting ahead of myself. Back to the story.  
So all of us were about to leave.  
"Sorry Barney." Lily patted Barney on the shoulder. "My dad has babysat Marvin every night this week and i want to give him a break. But Robin will be here soon."  
"Well, she isn't really talking to me after the whole splitsville incident." Barney stared at the glass that was now empty in his end.  
Kids, remember how Robin was going to gently break up with Nick and then Barney took matters into his own hands and Nick ended up getting his heart smashed into smithereens and Robin was really mad at Barney because he ruined any prospects of peaceful closure because Nick may have thrown a brick at Robins window? Well, that event came to be known as the "splitsville incident". It had been almost a month since the "splitsville incident" and Robin was still not over it.  
"I'm sure she will forgive you if you apologize." Lily said encouragingly.  
Barney shook his head "I don't think so. You don't know the whole story of what happened that night." There may have been an almost kiss.  
"I am smelling a story!" Lily said excitedly. Marshall gave her a look. "But... I have to go." And with that Lily reluctantly followed Marshall out the door of the Mclarens.  
I looked at Barney. I really wanted to go home and work on "Squirlock Holmes". But i felt bad leaving him all alone.  
"You can go." Barney said quietly. He looked pathetic.  
"Jeez man, you can't just say i can leave and then give me that look."  
"No, I actually sort of want to be alone, so... It's fine."  
I was a little hurt. He had been so sad when Marshall and Lily left but he just asked me to leave. Then i saw Robin at the door of the bar. "Um, Barney... I don't think you are going to be alone tonight. Robin just got here."  
"Ugh." Barney put his head on the table. "Maybe I should just leave."  
"No." I said firmly, taking charge "You guys are done fighting. I am going to get her over here. Apologize for whatever the hell you did, and repatch this hole in the gang." I stood up and walked over to Robin. "Hey Robsy! Hows it going?"  
"What do you want?" Robin could tell that i was on a mission based on my use of the clever nickname.  
"Nothing." Robin knew i was up to something. But i was going to soldier on anyway. "Our table is over there. I'm leaving but you can hang out with the rest of the gang."  
"Um, Ted." Robin said slowly, peering over my shoulder. "It's just Barney. I don't feel like being alone with him."  
"It isn't just Barney!" I said instinctively. "Marshall and Lily are... in the Bathroom."  
"At the same time?" Robin raised an eyebrow.  
"Um, they are practicing for a contest. A synchronized peeing contest." I felt so accomplished.  
"Oh, I thought you were going to say they were having sex." Robin glanced around the bar.  
Come to think of it, that would have made a lot more sense.  
"Come on Robin, they are only going to be like a minute. Go sit with Barney."  
"Fine." Robin gave in to my persuasion techniques. "But i am still mad at him."  
Robin slowly made her way towards Barney's table. I turned and headed out the door. What happened after I left would go down in history as... Well, I don't want to spoil it.  
Robin sat cautiously down in the booth across from Barney.  
He looked up, saw her sitting there and immediately looked down at his scotch. It was empty. He stared at his glass as if his stare would magically refill it.  
Robin raised her hand, beckoning the waiter over "Scotch on the rocks." She ordered.  
Barney's looked up from his drink and then back down at the table.  
Robin gazed around the bar awkwardly. She took a sip of her scotch and said meekly "How long can it take to pee?"  
Barney looked up and cocked his head to one side.  
"Marshall and Lily are in the bathroom right?" Robin asked.  
Barney shook his head and looked back down.  
"Damn it, Ted. Why do i ever believe you?"  
Barney gulped "Um, Robin?"  
"Yeah."  
"I'm really sorry."  
Robin paused. She knew exactly what he was talking about. After a few seconds she smiled "Thanks."  
Barney looked up, caught off guard. "You forgive me?"  
"Well, yeah..." Robin nodded. "I was mad at you for that, and for the whole Patrice thing."  
"You knew about Patrice?"  
"Yeah, she couldn't stop talking about it." Robin laughed. "I was really angry at first but then i realized if you're happy, then-"  
"We broke up."  
"Oh thank god." Robin let out a sigh of relief.  
And the wall that was keeping Barney and Robin from enjoying eachothers company was broken down. The talked... and laughed... and joked... and laughed some more. Somehow, they both ended up half wasted.  
Robin laughed "Nonononononononono. Watch this. I am the master of ice cube flicking." She plucked an ice cube out of her empty glass, and positioned it on top of her left hand. She glanced around the room "Target aquired" She gestured to a blonde sitting at the bar. Robin lifted her hand, on which the ice cube was still balancing on. Then, somehow, she flicked the ice cube at the woman so that it hit her square in the butt.  
The woman turned around, fuming. There was a rather nerdy fellow standing behind her waiting for his drink. She gave him a disgusted look, threw her drink at him and stormed out.  
Barney burst out laughing "That was awesome!"  
Robin giggled. "Your turn!"  
"Nope, i don't think i can follow that! It was so precise and perfectly timed. Truly brilliant Scherbatsky." He smiled giddily at her.  
"Welp! I should go!" Robin stood up shakily.  
"I'll come with you!" Barney shouted, hurriedly jumping up next to her.  
The two of them stumble out of the bar.  
"Wouldn't it be weird if we got back together?" Barney asked bluntly.  
"Yeah." Robin pondered the prospects of a relationship. "I would never date you again."  
"Really?" Barney said, with a hint of disappointment.  
"No." Robin concluded. "I would date you again... If you grew a beard."  
"What?" Barney looked at her confused.  
"I would only date you if you grew a beard."  
"Well, I would only date you if..." Barney paused thoughtfully "If you were blonde!"  
"Are you kidding me?" Robin asked. They were both sobering up at this point.  
"Nope." Barney smiled smugly. "So... I guess that would mean that if i showed up at the bar tomorrow with a beard..."  
"And i showed up with blonde hair..."  
"We would have to get back together."  
"Definitely." Robin said firmly.  
The next day when Robin showed up at the bar none of us got what it meant.  
"Seriously Robin." I said, trying to suppress another laugh "Why the hell did you dye your hair blonde?"  
Robin ran her fingers through her hair "I don't know... I was feeling impulsive."  
"Well, next time you feel the impulse to dye your hair..." Marshall began.  
"Don't." Lily finished for him.  
"Fine. I admit that going this blonde may have been a bit too drastic." Robin sat down next to me. "Speaking of drastic, where's Barney?"  
Marshall looked at the door and burst out laughing "Guys, don't look now, but Barney is here."  
And of course we all looked. Standing at the bar, wearing a suit and shiny shoes was Barney... with a beard. I fell out of my seat laughing.  
Barney turned towards us. He scratched his scruffy, new beard and made his way over to the table, pulling up a chair. "Hey guys." He smiled. You could barely tell he had lips, they were surrounded by blonde hair.  
Lily, Marshall, and I were doubled over laughing, hardly able to breathe let alone respond to Barney's greating.  
"Barney." Robin wasn't laughing "You have a beard..."  
"And you're blonde..."  
"Does that mean that...?"  
Barney nodded and took her hand. "Definitely."  
And kids that is the story of how Barney and Robin got back together. The rest of us wouldn't find out about them for a few weeks. But we'll get to that.

**_people said there were spoilers in this... but for the most part it is just my assumptions and guesses. i did read somewhere that Barney dated one other person before getting back together with Robin. but who it is going to be remains a mystery! And i guess that there are some spoilers in for the episode "Splitsville" but most of that stuff was made up too. I am sorry to anyone who feels that i have spoiled their HIMYM experience._**


End file.
